Birthday Wishes
Yesterday was our mom's birthday. She'd be 46 this year. I've thought a lot about what she would look like today. I've even looked around for software that could age an image of her, so I'd have a better idea (the results were terrible). I feel crazy saying this, but no matter where I go, I look for her. Recently, I was in Cuba with my partner to relax on the beach for a week. It was this trip that made me realize how important this search is to me. Even in Cuba I caught myself giving women who liked like her a double take. I worry that, without answers, my mind will never stop wondering if that could be her.
If you love some one who is missing, closure is something you long for. I've heard so many stories about my mom, some good, some.. not so much. There seem to be two very opposing schools of thought about who she was and what she was up to in the last few months before her disappearance. One thing I know for sure, the information, be it positive or negative has been a very powerful part of the healing process for me. Learning more about her, sharing information, and coming to the realization that I’m not alone in this, has brought so much comfort.
I might never know what happened to my mom, and I may spend the rest of my life peering into cars, getting the urge to chase women in shopping malls, and wondering if that girl I saw last month- that kind of looked like Salina- could be my sister. Even though there is a good chance I'll never know the truth, I need to try, and I need your help. Please continue to share information. I want to hear all of your stories or memories about my mom, and any information you have about the circumstances around her disappearance.
For years I was terrified to start this process- scared of what I would find out- and scared I would pour all of my energy into this and find nothing. Both of those things still worry me, but I’ve learned enough in the past few months that I’m encouraged to push on. Maybe one day, it really will be her.
-F